Emirates SkyCargo last month was awarded the coveted “Gold” award in Air Transport World (ATW) AdAward’s Cargo Services category for its creative advertisement promoting Emirates SkyCargo’s new service to Venice.

The annual ad awards, which were held in Singapore and precede the well-known Airline of the Year Award (which this year went to Singapore Airlines), were selected by a panel of 200 representatives from the aviation industry.

A SkyCargo advertisement, depicting a cargo shipment onboard a Venetian gondola, with the tagline “Venice Ahoy” was described by the judges as “beautifully and artistically pleasing, while delivering the advertisement’s important message.”

“To my darling husband, Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent, but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me.

You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you (below).

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXX

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:

“Father...during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood urgently knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied: “That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that.”

“There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favours.

This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.”

The priest said: “By doing that, you placed yourselves in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.” “Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question.”

“And what is that, my son?” asked the priest.

“Should I tell her the war is over?”

The recent change that allows airline pilots to continue flying past age 60 has prompted the following rules for 'older' pilots, which have been proposed at several major airlines:

1. All pants must fit and not be up in your armpits.

2. You must walk without shuffling your feet.

3. No Depends on the flight deck.

4. When using a toothpick, you must leave your teeth in your mouth.

5. If you need more than tri-focals, you are DONE! (period!)

6. No pictures of great-great-grandchildren.

7. Anytime you call the other guy “Sonny”, he can hit you.

8. Never, ever mention AARP.

9. When in a restaurant with your crew, don’t request the senior discount.

10.When checking into the overnight hotel, don’t ask if the exercise room has shuffleboard.