Spatially Challenged (Part II)

If you’ve lost the plot, don’t worry, you’re not the only one, as the actions of a certain pilot who was to captain a B767 from Moscow to New York a couple of months back demonstrates. And for this story once again we return to theMotherland of Vodka and to Aeroflot. It all began fairly […]


If you’ve lost the plot, don’t worry, you’re not the only one, as the actions of a certain pilot who was to captain a B767 from Moscow to New York a couple of months back demonstrates. And for this story once again we return to theMotherland of Vodka and to Aeroflot.

It all began fairly innocuously with the standard cheery reassurance of the pre-takeoff announcement by the pilot. But for Captain Alexander Cheplevsky, his reassuring words evaporated faster than shots of vodka at a Russian wedding. For some strange reason Capt Cheplevsky’s slurred and garbled comments ahead of a flight from Moscow to New York convinced passengers that he was…wait for it… irrigated with horizontal lubricant!

When he apparently switched from unintelligible Russian into unintelligible English and then an unintelligible mix of both, fear turned to revolt aboard the aircraft. Flight attendants initially ignored passengers’ complaints, even threatening to expel them from the plane unless they stopped “making trouble”.

As the rebellion spread, Aeroflot representatives boarded the aircraft to try to pacify the 300-odd passengers. One even went as far as to try and reassure them by announcing that it was “not such a big deal” if the pilot was drunk because the aircraft practically flew itself! Yah sure, we can see that from the US Airways’ clever ditching in the Hudson River.