Being the plane geeks that we are here at Bellyache, we also can’t help but observe that the cover image for the book is a Lockheed L-1011, better known as a Tristar. Perhaps the book was written in the 1970s?
At any rate, it’s also a curious choice because, compared to a similar generation DC-10, the Tristar has a relatively clean safety record with a total of six fatal crashes, none of them involving problems with the aircraft design itself. Not bad for a production of 250 aircraft from 1968 to 1984…but we digress.
Written by Russell Eaton, an “expert in air travel,” the website reassures that “everything in the book has been thoroughly researched and is completely up to date,” well except for the Tristar!
To be perfectly honest, we’re not actually sure this is even a real book! But the website apparently accepts credit cards, so it must be real…right? But then again, so do a number of people oddly connected to former African governments who’s millions of dollars are tied up in Nigerian bank accounts.
Again, we digress. For just US$7 you can learn all the “secrets” of surviving a plane crash. Could it be a multi-religious book of prayers? According to the sales pitch: “It’s easy to forget that thousands of airline passengers die or get injured in plane crashes and hard landings every year. But even if you are never faced with an airline calamity, wouldn’t it be great if you could reduce the stress of flying?
“By just knowing the secret knowledge in Air Travel Survival you will be much less stressed when you fly – this in turn protects your health. This is the only book in the world that shows a safer emergency brace position for airline passengers,” the pitch continues.
And here’s Bellyache’s favourite from the website’s myth and reality section: “Travelling by car is 12 times safer than travelling on a commercial jet airline. If you were to travel by plane as often as you travel by car you would be 12 times more likely to be involved in a plane crash compared to a car crash. Put another way, travelling by plane is 12 times more likely to kill you than travelling by car for the same number of journeys. The only reason air travel is perceived to be safer than car travel is because most people do not travel by air as often as by car. For the evidence see Air Travel Survival.”
Huh? We’re not sure about you, but the Bellyachers are still scratching our collective heads over that so-called logic! And just as a point of reference, somewhere in the neighbourhood of 45,000 people die each year in car crashes in the US alone.
We’re not going to give you the website, because quite frankly your chance of being ripped off online is far greater than the odds of dying in car, air, sea and bicycle crashes combined…but if you must, borrow somebody else’s credit card for the transaction!
One word of caution though, in today’s over-the-top, super paranoid, security environment we don’t recommend you openly carry it through airport security checkpoints! It could be good fun however, to pull it out once the plane has taken off , just to see the expression on the person’s face seated next to you. Here’s hoping it’s not an air marshal. Ouch, thy mighty Taser’s sting does bite!